[00:00:00] Tag Herr Jauch!
[00:00:01] Herr Ulmen, was haben Sie diesmal wieder nicht verstanden?
[00:00:04] Ja, Herr Jauch, können Sie mir das mit dem E-Rezept nochmal erklären?
[00:00:07] Es ist doch nun wirklich einfach. Also, Shop Apotheke App öffnen, Krankenkassenkarte dranhalten...
[00:00:13] Karte dranhalten, Rezepte auswählen, bestellen, fertig...
[00:00:16] Ja, Sie wissen doch wie es geht.
[00:00:17] Ja, aber also einfach nur dranhalten ist das... Ich dachte meine Frau wollte mich verarschen.
[00:00:22] Diesmal ausnahmsweise nicht.
[00:00:25] E-Rezept, Shop Apotheke. Hältst du schon dran?
[00:00:28] Für uns geht's, wenn wir ein paar Dinge wissen, um das zu wissen, was es zu wissen.
[00:00:34] Wenn du nicht so gehört, hast du das letzte Mal mit Brittany Ard,
[00:00:38] sollte das zu machen.
[00:00:40] Brittany war scammed by ein Mann, der wollte mit ihr, aber nicht für Geld.
[00:00:45] Er hat einen Spannsatz zu wollen, aber er hat sich nicht in den Gründen.
[00:00:48] Er hat sich in die Zeit nicht in den Gründen für die Schulden.
[00:00:52] He used those same techniques on many other women, all at the same time he was seeing Brittany.
[00:00:58] Brittany has told her full story on her podcast, I Bet You Think the Story is About You,
[00:01:04] and I'll put a link to that in the show notes.
[00:01:07] Like her, I'm calling it a con because it required someone misrepresenting themselves
[00:01:12] in exchange for something else.
[00:01:15] In our last episode, Brittany told us how the scam went down.
[00:01:19] Today, I'll explore what the scammer may have wanted.
[00:01:23] It's also very important to keep in mind that I have only Brittany's side of the story.
[00:01:28] Kanan, the name she gave him, refused to return many requests for an interview, as he's done with others.
[00:01:35] I did research on the man, his military and other records check out.
[00:01:40] The only interactions with police I found were from minor traffic violations.
[00:01:45] In our last episode, Brittany spoke candidly about what she did, how she fell for it, and what she's doing to recover.
[00:01:54] This week, I'm speaking with Dr. Courtney Warren, a psychologist and adjunct clinical professor in the Department of Psychiatry
[00:02:03] at the Kirk Kirkorkian School of Medicine at the University of Nevada in Las Vegas.
[00:02:08] She also has a recent book about how to deal with breaking up with someone you care deeply about.
[00:02:14] Dr. Warren has listened to our episode with Brittany, but she has never spoken with Brittany or her scammer,
[00:02:21] the man whose fictitious name is Kanan.
[00:02:24] Dr. Warren's observations here are based on her professional experience and are not an opinion about Brittany's story or anyone involved.
[00:02:33] Dr. Warren's observations are based on my thoughts and opinions, but her answers are independent and professional.
[00:02:39] Lastly, our conversation includes talk about obsession and compulsion.
[00:02:44] We also talk about sex in general.
[00:02:47] Nothing graphic, I'd consider it safe for work, even if you work at the Vatican, but that's your call.
[00:02:53] So let's get started and find out how the scam was run and why someone fell for it.
[00:02:59] When it comes to love addiction, I think, again, it's also a very natural human desire to be connected to another person,
[00:03:09] to fall in love, to want that high that comes from magically connecting in a sexual and romantic way to a partner.
[00:03:20] And it isn't inherently problematic until you realize that perhaps it's not a healthy partner for you,
[00:03:29] or perhaps it isn't a relationship that you think you want to be in because there are some deal breakers,
[00:03:35] or maybe because they're not in love with you or don't want to be in a relationship with you.
[00:03:40] Then that magical love aspect of getting high on another person can have some really big consequences.
[00:03:51] And I think in situations where someone is addicted in a romantic way to a partner who isn't healthy for them,
[00:04:00] but yet stays in the relationship or tries to stay in the relationship because they feel stuck
[00:04:05] and because they can't seem to leave, that is really difficult.
[00:04:21] That's Dr. Courtney Warren responding to my question about love addiction.
[00:04:25] Love addiction and sex addiction were two of my theories about how and why Brittany was conned.
[00:04:31] In terms of love, Caden was very giving, very loving.
[00:04:40] He shared little of his own life, but he doted on Brittany and the other women in his life.
[00:04:45] He remembered details from woman to woman, but he wasn't perfect.
[00:04:49] There were inconsistencies, and that's how he was unmasked.
[00:04:52] I'm going to start with love addiction.
[00:04:57] Caden wanted sex, apparently a lot of sex, but he was a good-looking, personable guy
[00:05:02] and probably wouldn't have had problems finding sex if that was all he was after.
[00:05:13] Love addiction certainly can overlap with sex addiction because, as you might imagine,
[00:05:20] when you're thinking about sexual behavior and sort of this drive and cravings for sexual behavior,
[00:05:26] that will manifest in your romantic relationships oftentimes.
[00:05:30] But love addiction is different than sex addiction in the sense that it's really the biological drive
[00:05:37] for connection and belonging and the high that we get naturally when we fall in love.
[00:05:46] And when you think about humans from a biological perspective,
[00:05:50] there are a lot of evolutionary biologists and psychologists that will point to this drive in our brain
[00:05:59] to make us seek out a romantic partner and at some point zero in on one
[00:06:05] and think about them and crave them and fall madly in love for them
[00:06:10] so that we will want to have sex with them,
[00:06:12] so that we will want to have children procreate and promote the survival of our species, really.
[00:06:19] And so when you think about love addiction,
[00:06:22] generally that's more about one specific individual that a person has fallen head over heels for
[00:06:29] and feels like they are stuck, attached, even when they don't want to be attached.
[00:06:37] Brittany says her situation was different.
[00:06:40] I'll refer you to the previous episode for the details,
[00:06:44] but Kanan was involved with many women while he was also seeing Brittany.
[00:06:49] Dr. Warren suggests that love or sex addiction might have its roots in traumatic childhood experiences.
[00:06:55] Those experiences might leave them with flawed beliefs about how love,
[00:06:59] sex, and romantic relationships work.
[00:07:02] The result could be addictive patterns around sexual partners and around love interests,
[00:07:07] which led me to scratch my head.
[00:07:10] Are these activities a result of some mental trauma?
[00:07:14] Are they genetic?
[00:07:16] Are they the result of behavior witnessed in others?
[00:07:19] Love and sex addictions are actually not clinical diagnoses, right?
[00:07:24] So because of that, in part,
[00:07:27] the formal definitions of what constitutes love addiction and sex addiction
[00:07:32] are really pretty controversial, even in the mental health sphere.
[00:07:36] But what I would say is that we are biologically programmed to fall in love,
[00:07:42] and the experience of falling in love is magical for anyone who has ever experienced it.
[00:07:47] It's probably one of the most wonderful natural highs we will ever have as a human.
[00:07:52] And it isn't inherently unhealthy, right?
[00:07:57] Much like having a positive sexual interaction with someone isn't inherently unhealthy.
[00:08:02] It can actually be a really wonderful, bonding, fulfilling part of our lives.
[00:08:07] So you can fall in love with multiple people over the course of your life.
[00:08:12] But again, I come back to the fact that Brittany wasn't the only person in Kanan's life,
[00:08:17] and to me, that seems quite unusual.
[00:08:20] We can fall in love with many people, but in this case,
[00:08:23] it was a lot of people at the same time.
[00:08:26] It's hard to know what someone's experience is in romantic relationships,
[00:08:31] because you're relying on their self-report, right?
[00:08:35] So if someone comes in to me and says,
[00:08:36] well, I fell in love with all of these people,
[00:08:39] I can't really say, well, no, you didn't, or are you sure,
[00:08:43] or is it the same experience?
[00:08:45] But what I will say is that
[00:08:47] there are people who are incredibly distressed
[00:08:53] by their love interactions with people,
[00:08:55] where they might come to me and say,
[00:08:57] I think I'm a sex addict.
[00:08:59] I think about sex constantly.
[00:09:01] I am wanting to have sex with indiscriminate people,
[00:09:05] or I'm spending hours and days and weeks
[00:09:07] searching for people online
[00:09:09] because it makes me feel high,
[00:09:11] and it makes me feel good.
[00:09:13] But it's actually upsetting to me
[00:09:15] because I know these aren't people I really care about.
[00:09:17] They don't even know me.
[00:09:18] Maybe I'm catfishing.
[00:09:19] Maybe I'm creating a profile online that isn't even me.
[00:09:23] Like they don't actually even know the real me,
[00:09:25] but I'm compelled to do it
[00:09:27] because it makes me feel alive.
[00:09:30] That to me is indicative of you're seeking the high.
[00:09:35] I don't know if that's actually being in love.
[00:09:37] I don't know that they know anything about you
[00:09:39] or that you really know anything about them.
[00:09:42] It's more that you're chasing the dopamine rush,
[00:09:44] and perhaps there's something in your psychological makeup
[00:09:47] that is leading you to crave importance,
[00:09:51] that's leading you to feel special,
[00:09:54] that's leading you, even in a more negative way,
[00:09:56] to try to take advantage of people
[00:09:58] or to try to harm people in some way
[00:10:00] because it makes you feel alive,
[00:10:02] as if these are sort of pawns or just stimuli
[00:10:05] and aren't actual people
[00:10:06] that you are actually falling in love with
[00:10:09] and trying to build a relationship
[00:10:11] based on trust and mutual understanding
[00:10:14] and real lived experiences with another human,
[00:10:18] which is kind of the crux
[00:10:19] of a meaningful attached relationship.
[00:10:22] If you're jumping from person to person,
[00:10:24] not really being honest because you like the chase,
[00:10:28] is that really love?
[00:10:30] I'd probably say it isn't,
[00:10:32] at least from a diagnostic or a conceptual perspective,
[00:10:36] but it might be their experience of love in the moment
[00:10:39] because maybe they don't know what real attached love feels like.
[00:10:42] And it becomes more confusing.
[00:10:45] Two people can be in love,
[00:10:47] not particularly like one another,
[00:10:49] but choose to stay together.
[00:10:51] And I'm trying to understand you and work with you
[00:10:54] and I don't like everything about you,
[00:10:55] but I still choose you.
[00:10:57] This is an active choice to figure it out.
[00:11:00] But if you're in a love-addicted relationship
[00:11:03] or a dysfunctional romantic relationship
[00:11:06] and you start to see those cracks
[00:11:08] and you want to explain them away,
[00:11:11] you're in denial about them,
[00:11:13] you are going to rationalize whatever it is
[00:11:16] that you see that probably is a red flag.
[00:11:22] This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.
[00:11:25] It's November and time for family gatherings,
[00:11:29] the resurrection of past grudges,
[00:11:31] and comments about how much more
[00:11:33] you could have done with your life.
[00:11:35] Sure, you're grateful for your family.
[00:11:37] They helped you grow up to be the person you are today,
[00:11:39] but they can also stress the hell out of you.
[00:11:42] One way to deal with it
[00:11:44] is to call your therapist at BetterHelp.
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[00:11:48] with dreaded moments with your uncle,
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[00:11:51] that you should have been a doctor,
[00:11:52] or the battle over the remote control
[00:11:54] to decide which football game to watch.
[00:11:57] And when it's all over,
[00:11:59] you can schedule another appointment
[00:12:00] with your BetterHelp therapist
[00:12:02] to figure out what to do
[00:12:03] with your sister's new condescending husband.
[00:12:06] Let the gratitude flow with BetterHelp.
[00:12:09] Visit BetterHelp.com slash scamscons today
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[00:12:16] That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash scamscons.
[00:12:22] Pack your body bags.
[00:12:23] We're going on a slaycation.
[00:12:25] Jim, what's a slaycation?
[00:12:27] A slaycation is a murder or mysterious death
[00:12:29] that happens while you're on vacation.
[00:12:32] If you like to mix humor with horror and travel,
[00:12:35] join me, Kim Davis.
[00:12:36] And me, Adam Tex Davis.
[00:12:38] And me, Sherry Colbert.
[00:12:39] As we look at the craziest slaycations
[00:12:42] that will have you asking
[00:12:43] what the F is wrong with people.
[00:12:46] You can find Slaycation on Spotify
[00:12:48] or wherever you get your podcasts.
[00:12:50] Just remember, getting away can be murder.
[00:12:55] Red flags.
[00:12:57] In the last episode,
[00:12:59] Brittany acknowledged there are red flags everywhere,
[00:13:02] but she chose to ignore them.
[00:13:04] How do people rationalize what they can plainly see?
[00:13:08] When we fall in love with someone,
[00:13:11] we really start a journey of trying to understand who they are,
[00:13:16] but probably more importantly, who we are,
[00:13:18] and whether we can actively choose to be with this person
[00:13:22] on our journey of personal growth and discovery along the way.
[00:13:26] There are many times that someone who is a love addict
[00:13:31] will fall in love with someone
[00:13:33] that also is damaged or struggling in some addictive way,
[00:13:40] but together they find a way to work through it.
[00:13:44] So I wouldn't say that inherently
[00:13:46] feeling like you're a love addict
[00:13:48] means you're never going to have a successful relationship.
[00:13:51] Which raised the question in my mind
[00:13:54] of whether codependence is a factor,
[00:13:56] where two people with the same or complementary needs
[00:13:59] come together to fulfill those needs.
[00:14:02] Codependence, another term that, again,
[00:14:05] is not a diagnosis,
[00:14:06] but is a term that you'll hear
[00:14:08] a lot of mental health professionals refer to.
[00:14:10] It was originally described
[00:14:13] in the substance abuse literature, actually,
[00:14:17] way back in the early 80s, I would say,
[00:14:21] to describe how people in family systems
[00:14:25] that had a drug or substance use addict
[00:14:28] responded to that person.
[00:14:30] And it really is used to describe an enabler,
[00:14:33] someone who kind of is the giver
[00:14:36] in a romantic relationship dynamic
[00:14:39] or in a family system
[00:14:41] that sort of tiptoes around,
[00:14:45] tries to meet everybody else's needs,
[00:14:47] is kind of the giver
[00:14:48] in order to avoid conflict in their relationship.
[00:14:53] But codependency is tricky
[00:14:54] because ultimately,
[00:14:57] it's often really unhealthy for everyone involved.
[00:15:00] A lot of codependents will have a difficult time
[00:15:02] setting boundaries, reasonable boundaries.
[00:15:05] They'll have a hard time expressing
[00:15:07] their own feelings authentically.
[00:15:10] They will oftentimes seem passive-aggressive even
[00:15:14] because they're behind the scenes
[00:15:16] feeling a bit like a martyr,
[00:15:18] but are also trying to control things
[00:15:20] that are not in their control,
[00:15:22] like the addict's behavior
[00:15:23] or the addict's feelings.
[00:15:25] And so in that way,
[00:15:28] being in a codependent relationship
[00:15:29] with a sex or love addict
[00:15:31] is not uncommon,
[00:15:32] but also will maintain
[00:15:35] a very unhealthy dynamic
[00:15:38] for everybody involved.
[00:15:40] So far, I've focused on love addiction.
[00:15:43] That's because the emotional tools
[00:15:45] used in Brittany's case
[00:15:46] are the same as a romance scammer,
[00:15:48] without asking for money.
[00:15:51] Romance scammers want money,
[00:15:53] not sex.
[00:15:54] So before we move on to sex addiction,
[00:15:57] let's take one last question.
[00:15:59] How do love addictions end?
[00:16:02] When do enough red flags fly up
[00:16:04] that the person realizes
[00:16:05] they are in a potentially toxic relationship?
[00:16:09] Now, this is Dr. Warren's wheelhouse.
[00:16:11] She just wrote a book about breaking up.
[00:16:14] It's called Letting Go of Your Ex,
[00:16:16] and I'll have a link to it
[00:16:17] in the show notes.
[00:16:20] It conceptualizes romantic love
[00:16:22] from an addictive perspective
[00:16:24] and really highlights
[00:16:26] how when you fall in love
[00:16:28] and then break up,
[00:16:29] it is really pretty normal and natural
[00:16:32] to have a strong withdrawal experience
[00:16:35] where you're thinking about your ex,
[00:16:37] you're craving them,
[00:16:39] you're reliving old experiences,
[00:16:41] you're thinking about
[00:16:42] whether you can get back together or not.
[00:16:45] Those are really common reactions
[00:16:48] when you break up with someone
[00:16:49] you were in love with
[00:16:50] or when they break up with you.
[00:16:51] And so this book offers
[00:16:53] a conceptualization
[00:16:55] and a host of tools
[00:16:57] for people to actively practice
[00:16:59] in their daily lives
[00:17:00] so that they can break
[00:17:02] the addictive cycle
[00:17:04] and let go of their ex
[00:17:06] in an effort to enjoy
[00:17:07] their present life without them.
[00:17:10] Brittany told us of how she reacted
[00:17:12] when she learned the truth about Canaan,
[00:17:14] and her reaction was to focus
[00:17:16] on learning more about him.
[00:17:17] It's really written for people
[00:17:19] who are in the middle of a breakup
[00:17:21] where they're either
[00:17:22] trying to break up with them
[00:17:25] or aware that they have been broken up with
[00:17:27] and need to find a way to move forward.
[00:17:30] But I think if someone is thinking
[00:17:33] about a breakup,
[00:17:34] it's really important
[00:17:35] to ask yourself
[00:17:36] some very honest questions
[00:17:39] about who you are
[00:17:41] and who your partner is
[00:17:42] and what your motivation to stay
[00:17:44] really is
[00:17:46] when you're most honest with yourself.
[00:17:48] It's when you can really stare down
[00:17:50] the truth in its most brutal,
[00:17:54] realistic form
[00:17:55] and then make choices based on it
[00:17:57] that you will not only live a life
[00:18:00] that you want to live,
[00:18:01] but you will become comfortable
[00:18:03] and confident in your own skin
[00:18:06] in such a way
[00:18:07] that a tsunami of horrible material
[00:18:09] could come your way
[00:18:10] and you'll stand strong.
[00:18:13] In speaking with Brittany,
[00:18:14] I think she's still on that journey
[00:18:16] and perhaps her podcast
[00:18:17] is a path to reconcile
[00:18:19] what's happened to her.
[00:18:20] But that's her story to tell
[00:18:22] on her podcast.
[00:18:24] So let's talk about sex addiction.
[00:18:31] Hey there, I'm James,
[00:18:32] host of Dakota Spotlight.
[00:18:33] We're back with a new season,
[00:18:35] You Killed Chris,
[00:18:36] A Friend's Fight for Justice.
[00:18:37] It's a chilling throwback to 1968.
[00:18:40] A college freshman,
[00:18:42] Christine Rothschild,
[00:18:42] is murdered on campus
[00:18:43] during her morning walk.
[00:18:45] Join us as we dive
[00:18:46] into this unsolved case
[00:18:47] and follow a friend's
[00:18:48] relentless pursuit of the truth
[00:18:50] all the way from
[00:18:51] the flower power era to today.
[00:18:53] Binge You Killed Chris
[00:18:54] on your favorite app
[00:18:55] or at dakotaspotlight.com.
[00:19:04] It's probably too much
[00:19:05] of a leap for most of us
[00:19:06] to imagine sex addiction.
[00:19:08] Sex is fun,
[00:19:10] it's exciting,
[00:19:11] and if you're a young male
[00:19:12] full of piss and vinegar,
[00:19:13] it's nearly always
[00:19:14] on your mind.
[00:19:16] I'm a guy,
[00:19:17] so I can't speak
[00:19:18] with any authority
[00:19:18] about the sex lives
[00:19:20] of young women.
[00:19:21] But I do know
[00:19:22] a lot of women
[00:19:22] who are comfortable
[00:19:23] with their sexuality
[00:19:24] and aren't shy
[00:19:25] about expressing it.
[00:19:27] But I have to wonder
[00:19:28] about men or women
[00:19:29] who aren't comfortable
[00:19:30] with their sexuality
[00:19:31] and seek experiences
[00:19:32] to bolster
[00:19:33] what they may see
[00:19:34] as their own needs.
[00:19:36] So in the context
[00:19:37] of sex addiction,
[00:19:39] the addictive behavior
[00:19:40] is around sex
[00:19:42] and orgasm.
[00:19:43] I think that it's
[00:19:45] a very mixed,
[00:19:48] messy interaction
[00:19:49] of psychological
[00:19:51] predispositions,
[00:19:53] probably,
[00:19:53] which we can talk about,
[00:19:55] biological needs
[00:19:57] and urges
[00:19:57] and sort of
[00:19:58] dopamine hits,
[00:20:00] as you just mentioned,
[00:20:01] that are hijacking
[00:20:03] the pleasure sensors
[00:20:04] in the brain,
[00:20:05] which are really
[00:20:06] around survival
[00:20:09] and probably
[00:20:10] some genetic
[00:20:12] predisposition
[00:20:13] and environmental factors
[00:20:14] that are all
[00:20:15] coalescing together
[00:20:16] to put someone
[00:20:17] at risk
[00:20:18] or at higher risk
[00:20:19] for developing
[00:20:20] addictive behavior
[00:20:21] of some kind.
[00:20:22] And Dr. Warren
[00:20:23] believes some people
[00:20:24] are predisposed
[00:20:25] to sex addiction.
[00:20:27] This is an anonymous
[00:20:28] sex addict
[00:20:29] who spoke with CBS News.
[00:20:31] It started when I was
[00:20:33] eight, nine.
[00:20:34] I could spend hours
[00:20:35] and hours and hours
[00:20:36] just fantasizing
[00:20:37] about women's body parts.
[00:20:40] One fantasy
[00:20:41] I used to have
[00:20:41] as a kid
[00:20:42] was that I was
[00:20:43] undressing a woman's shirt
[00:20:45] and underneath that shirt
[00:20:46] was another shirt
[00:20:48] then another shirt.
[00:20:49] The hunt
[00:20:50] is more intoxicating
[00:20:52] sometimes
[00:20:53] than the actual
[00:20:54] getting the prize
[00:20:55] having the orgasm.
[00:20:57] My mother
[00:20:57] had poor boundaries
[00:20:58] around clothing
[00:20:59] in the house.
[00:21:00] She'd walk around
[00:21:01] in a t-shirt
[00:21:02] and panty
[00:21:03] and no bra on.
[00:21:05] My sexuality
[00:21:06] was so contained
[00:21:07] and I was so isolated
[00:21:09] with it.
[00:21:10] And then when
[00:21:11] I had the opportunity
[00:21:13] to become sexually active
[00:21:14] to what I fantasized about
[00:21:16] and when that opened up
[00:21:18] I hit it full force.
[00:21:19] whatever you have
[00:21:22] internalized culturally
[00:21:23] as a teen
[00:21:24] is going to influence
[00:21:26] how you approach
[00:21:27] romantic relationships
[00:21:28] and sexual behaviors.
[00:21:30] And given that
[00:21:31] these are going to be
[00:21:31] your first
[00:21:32] ones probably
[00:21:34] the first time
[00:21:35] that you've done
[00:21:35] these things
[00:21:36] it's really
[00:21:38] a
[00:21:39] perfect setting
[00:21:40] for
[00:21:41] all kinds of struggles.
[00:21:43] even for
[00:21:44] those of us
[00:21:45] who were the most
[00:21:46] well-adjusted teens
[00:21:47] which is kind of
[00:21:48] an oxymoron really
[00:21:49] because I don't know
[00:21:50] if we really have
[00:21:51] well-adjusted teens.
[00:21:53] It's difficult.
[00:21:54] It makes you vulnerable.
[00:21:56] It makes you uncomfortable.
[00:21:58] It also makes you excited
[00:22:00] and interested
[00:22:01] and intrigued.
[00:22:02] So I think
[00:22:03] the adolescent years
[00:22:04] are particularly
[00:22:05] prone
[00:22:06] probably
[00:22:07] to having
[00:22:09] a very
[00:22:10] large mix
[00:22:11] of sexual
[00:22:12] and romantic
[00:22:12] relationships
[00:22:13] that can have
[00:22:14] longer lasting
[00:22:15] consequences
[00:22:16] for how you
[00:22:17] approach those
[00:22:17] relationships
[00:22:18] into adulthood.
[00:22:20] So as I read it
[00:22:21] when we talk
[00:22:22] about love addiction
[00:22:23] it's about
[00:22:24] intimacy.
[00:22:25] intimacy
[00:22:26] when we're talking
[00:22:26] about sexual addiction
[00:22:27] intimacy may play a role
[00:22:30] but the goal
[00:22:31] is sex.
[00:22:32] And this is one
[00:22:33] of the other things
[00:22:34] that captivated me
[00:22:34] about Brittany's story.
[00:22:37] Kanan wanted sex
[00:22:38] and a lot of it
[00:22:39] not only from Brittany
[00:22:40] but from the other
[00:22:41] people he was with.
[00:22:43] Was love the con
[00:22:44] that got him
[00:22:45] the sex he wanted
[00:22:46] and if so
[00:22:47] why did he need
[00:22:48] so much sex?
[00:22:49] If the estimates
[00:22:50] I've heard her
[00:22:51] to be believed
[00:22:52] he'd need a red S
[00:22:53] on his shirt
[00:22:54] and be able
[00:22:54] to jump over
[00:22:55] tall buildings
[00:22:56] in a single bound
[00:22:57] to rack up
[00:22:57] those kinds of numbers.
[00:22:59] So
[00:23:01] here I sit
[00:23:02] at a keyboard.
[00:23:03] I've been writing
[00:23:04] about a situation
[00:23:05] that has all
[00:23:06] the elements
[00:23:07] of a con
[00:23:07] except it's
[00:23:08] not for money.
[00:23:10] There are two
[00:23:11] essential elements
[00:23:12] of a con
[00:23:13] fear
[00:23:13] and greed
[00:23:15] and those
[00:23:16] don't seem
[00:23:16] to exist here.
[00:23:18] In a Carrie Bradshaw
[00:23:19] moment I have
[00:23:20] to ask myself
[00:23:22] am I conning
[00:23:23] myself?
[00:23:24] Am I witnessing
[00:23:25] psychological conditions
[00:23:27] that have nothing
[00:23:28] to do with a con
[00:23:29] yet have most
[00:23:30] of the elements
[00:23:31] of a con?
[00:23:32] People are greedy.
[00:23:33] Some are greedy
[00:23:35] for sex
[00:23:35] some for love
[00:23:37] some for the
[00:23:38] approval of others
[00:23:39] some are in it
[00:23:40] for power.
[00:23:41] Also note that
[00:23:42] no crime
[00:23:43] has been committed.
[00:23:45] Brittany has
[00:23:45] interviewed lawyers
[00:23:46] about the situation
[00:23:47] and there's
[00:23:48] essentially nothing
[00:23:49] legally wrong.
[00:23:51] At this point
[00:23:52] I'm supposed to
[00:23:52] tie everything
[00:23:53] up into a nice
[00:23:54] bow and make
[00:23:55] some poignant
[00:23:55] proclamation.
[00:23:57] I got nothing.
[00:23:58] All I can offer
[00:24:00] is a cautionary
[00:24:01] tale.
[00:24:01] I try to tell you
[00:24:03] about how scams
[00:24:04] are run
[00:24:04] and why people
[00:24:05] fall for them.
[00:24:06] I pass along
[00:24:08] the techniques
[00:24:08] scammers use
[00:24:09] but those
[00:24:10] techniques can be
[00:24:11] used to steal
[00:24:12] other things too.
[00:24:14] Things like your
[00:24:15] heart.
[00:24:20] If you enjoy
[00:24:21] the podcast
[00:24:21] and want to
[00:24:22] support it
[00:24:22] please tell your
[00:24:24] friends and
[00:24:24] encourage them
[00:24:25] to listen.
[00:24:26] If you want to
[00:24:27] show us some
[00:24:27] more love
[00:24:28] consider donating
[00:24:29] a few dollars
[00:24:30] a month via
[00:24:30] Patreon.
[00:24:32] It not only
[00:24:33] helps with
[00:24:33] expenses
[00:24:34] it allows us
[00:24:35] to take the
[00:24:35] podcast to the
[00:24:36] next level
[00:24:37] all without
[00:24:38] advertising.
[00:24:39] You can sign up
[00:24:41] by going to
[00:24:41] patreon.com
[00:24:42] and search for
[00:24:43] scams and cons.
[00:24:45] That's
[00:24:46] p-a-t-r-e-o-n
[00:24:48] dot com.
[00:24:49] You can also
[00:24:50] find the link
[00:24:50] in the show
[00:24:51] notes.
[00:24:52] Thanks for
[00:24:53] listening.
[00:24:55] You might be
[00:24:55] surprised to know
[00:24:56] that not all
[00:24:57] serial killers are
[00:24:58] straight cisgender
[00:24:59] white men and
[00:25:00] the victims of
[00:25:01] true crime are
[00:25:02] not a monolith
[00:25:03] either.
[00:25:03] She's Wendy
[00:25:04] and I'm Beth
[00:25:05] and together we
[00:25:06] host Fruit
[00:25:06] Loop Serial
[00:25:07] Killers of
[00:25:08] Color, a
[00:25:08] true crime
[00:25:09] podcast.
[00:25:10] Together we
[00:25:10] take deep
[00:25:11] dives into
[00:25:11] the true
[00:25:12] crime stories
[00:25:12] about
[00:25:13] marginalized
[00:25:13] and minoritized
[00:25:14] perps and
[00:25:15] victims that
[00:25:15] often go
[00:25:16] untold.
[00:25:17] We also
[00:25:17] provide the
[00:25:18] context and
[00:25:18] nuance that
[00:25:19] these stories
[00:25:20] deserve.
[00:25:21] At Fruit
[00:25:21] Loops we're
[00:25:21] serving up
[00:25:22] true crime
[00:25:23] with a side
[00:25:23] of history,
[00:25:24] society,
[00:25:25] culture,
[00:25:25] and some
[00:25:26] fun.
[00:25:26] Listen to
[00:25:27] Fruit Loop Serial
[00:25:27] Killers of
[00:25:28] Color on
[00:25:28] Spotify,
[00:25:29] Google Play,
[00:25:29] Apple Podcasts,
[00:25:30] or wherever
[00:25:31] you get your
[00:25:31] podcasts.