[00:00:00] Where have you gone? Where have you gone? Where have you gone? Where have you gone? Where have
[00:00:20] you gone? Where have you gone? Where have you gone? Where have you gone? Where have
[00:00:33] you gone? That is the question everyone will be asking. Where have you gone? If
[00:00:42] you're successful in disappearing, there will be no answer for them. They won't know if
[00:00:47] you're the victim of crime, or in an accident, or just walked away from your life. But before
[00:00:54] they can ask that question, you'll have to decide where you're going and once you get there,
[00:01:00] how will you find the basic things you need? Food, shelter, a job, a new identity.
[00:01:08] As you learned in our last episode in this series, creating a new identity is not easy. In high
[00:01:22] school, a fake driver's license may have gotten you a six pack of beer, but as an adult,
[00:01:27] you need many more documents to prove who you are.
[00:01:35] In this episode, we'll explore where you might go to hide and how to deal with the depression
[00:01:41] that will undoubtedly follow. It's no surprise that you'll end up living some place you don't know
[00:01:52] among people you've never met. You will be absolutely alone and must depend upon your creativity
[00:02:01] and wits to get by. Many people can't do it, and they end up either going back to their old life
[00:02:08] or living on the street. Those who voluntarily vanish live a lonely life,
[00:02:18] they must choose friends carefully, they must articulate a background that is difficult to verify,
[00:02:23] but sounds completely plausible like any good scam artist does.
[00:02:36] All of this creates an envelope of loneliness and it has a profound impact on those who experience it.
[00:02:43] I'm Jim Grinstead, and today we'll talk about where to get lost and the experience of loneliness
[00:02:51] people experience when they get there. Let's begin with relocation.
[00:03:04] If you want to escape from everyone, head for a dense forest.
[00:03:08] Build a cabin by yourself on land that you rent for cash.
[00:03:12] You won't have internet, maybe not even electricity.
[00:03:16] Heat will come from wood fires and refrigeration will be a luxury unless you can find a suitable cave.
[00:03:25] And forget about a phone. Who you call can create red flags for those looking for you.
[00:03:31] Same holds true for those who call you. A burner phone might help, but the emphasis is on might.
[00:03:39] If you don't want to be found, then you must fully commit to that goal.
[00:03:47] Don't consider places where you've lived before. It's one of the first places searchers will look.
[00:03:53] Here's AI Voice Jeff, reading Permanarticle on Forbes about living on a desert island.
[00:03:59] Something not unlike building a cabin in the woods.
[00:04:03] Scottish sailor Alexander Selkirk, the probable real-life inspiration for the fictional Robinson
[00:04:08] Crusoe, spent four years as a castaway on a remote South Pacific island in the early 18th century,
[00:04:15] scavenging shellfish and hunting goats. While his experience wasn't exactly common,
[00:04:21] getting stranded was a regular danger of seagowing life in his time.
[00:04:25] Common enough that the goats he ate had been left by previous sailors.
[00:04:29] Mongolia is a favorite off-the-grid destination. It's capital, Yulun Botter, is one of the few in Asia
[00:04:36] without a McDonald's or a Starbucks. According to Jalsa Urubshuro, a Mongolian American who founded
[00:04:43] the travel company Nomadic Expeditions. An hour outside the capital, family sleep in jeers or
[00:04:49] round tents and live off the land. It's like going back in time, says Urubshuro, with only 600
[00:04:56] miles of paved roads in more than 600,000 square miles and a population of fewer than three million.
[00:05:03] The opportunities for getting lost on purpose are many. Also on our list is Papua New Guinea
[00:05:10] between the Coral Sea and the South Pacific, where cell phone coverage is limited to the capital
[00:05:15] and a few towns. And the Sparse Road Network and rugged terrain make air travel the best way to get
[00:05:21] around. Many parts of the island are covered by heavy jungle canopy, so even getting a satellite
[00:05:28] signal can be tricky. And not to worry, officials swear that lingering cannibalism ended decades ago.
[00:05:35] Three AM, the comedy horror podcast that holds weekly gatherings around the campfire.
[00:05:40] Let me tell you what you're going to get. You're going to hear stories about demonic possessions,
[00:05:44] prison stabbings, skinwalkers, glitches in the matrix, cult leaders missing 411, night marchers,
[00:05:51] operation paperclip, Mesopotamian devil worship and so many monsters it'll give Kanye West a run
[00:05:57] away for his money. Popping meme culture also aren't off top it. The camp where laughs and scares are
[00:06:03] constantly competing for first place. We're just a group of friends trying to bust each other's balls,
[00:06:08] find the best stories and expand the circle in the process. Three AM, the comedy horror podcast not
[00:06:14] for the faint or fragile of heart. Let's go!
[00:06:44] Few choose complete isolation. The British publication The Independent says many missing persons in the
[00:06:55] UK stay close to their original homes, although they do take care to change their appearance.
[00:07:00] The newspapers information came from a report on the geographies of missing people.
[00:07:13] It was based on face-to-face interviews with 45 adults who went missing in London or Scotland
[00:07:19] between 2009 and 2011, and who either returned home voluntarily or were traced.
[00:07:31] The report also said the reasons for going missing include traumatic experiences and strong
[00:07:40] emotions of being unable to cope, feeling trapped and powerless to talk about or share their feelings.
[00:07:54] Three quarters of those who had gone missing were diagnosed with mental health problems
[00:07:58] and one in three had attempted suicide.
[00:08:08] The best place is to go will be different for everyone, there's no one place that's perfect.
[00:08:13] If there were, it would be at the top of the list for those looking for those who vanished.
[00:08:19] But choosing where to go is the most important decision to make when people decide to vanish.
[00:08:24] Once they've arrived, they must deal with the pain of loneliness.
[00:08:54] Apple Podcasts, Spotify and any other major podcast platform.
[00:09:04] Loneliness is the major reason people walk away from witness protection programs.
[00:09:10] Symptoms include feelings of isolation, low energy, difficulty concentrating and difficulty sleeping.
[00:09:18] Symptoms include feelings of anxiety and panic.
[00:09:24] In extreme cases, it can cause symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks.
[00:09:31] Depression is common, including feeling homesick, isolated, sad or hopeless.
[00:09:39] As life stressors go, moving is number three among the top five.
[00:09:47] The list from university hospitals also includes stress that comes from the death of a loved one,
[00:09:53] divorce, major illness, her injury and job loss.
[00:09:59] The phenomenon is so common that there's a name for it.
[00:10:04] Relocation depression.
[00:10:09] Psychologist Lisa Fawce gave up a comfortable life and moved to Mauritius to teach
[00:10:18] and for the adventure moving to a new country.
[00:10:21] First night, I spent in Mauritius was possibly the worst of my life.
[00:10:26] I hardly slipped, waking every couple of hours with a feeling of utter dread in my stomach.
[00:10:33] What on earth had I done, giving up a successful and a happy life to settle on an island in the middle
[00:10:40] of nowhere where I knew nowhere? But when we have feelings stretched, alone and scared in the new place,
[00:10:51] it's just about impossible to connect with that craving for adventure and independence
[00:10:58] that brought us here in the first place.
[00:11:00] Fawce has more than 20 years experience as a psychologist, both at Rhodes University
[00:11:06] and African Leadership University. She made her remarks as part of a TEDx talk.
[00:11:12] Fawce moved for adventure. Others moved to escape.
[00:11:17] For whatever reason, Ireland rakes high in the number of people who vanish.
[00:11:22] One private investigator told the Irish newspaper, the journal,
[00:11:26] that people who go missing for non-criminal reasons fall into three categories.
[00:11:31] People who've been abducted, people who die by suicide,
[00:11:35] and people who make a conscious decision to go missing or disappear.
[00:11:40] AI Voice Teresa reads more from the journal's interview with a private detective
[00:11:45] who asked to remain anonymous. A high percentage of people who intentionally go missing
[00:11:51] leave Ireland to live in the UK or European city, the private detective explained.
[00:11:57] Over their 26 years working in the area, the PI said they found these people to be
[00:12:03] free spirits who are often living in homeless shelters, guesthouses, or similar temporary accommodation.
[00:12:11] Painting a picture of a standard case, the investigator said people were unlikely to be working
[00:12:16] in a steady job, and that they didn't usually stay at any specific address for a long period of time.
[00:12:23] Family members are told at the start of each case that there is no guarantee the person will be found.
[00:12:30] Even if they are found, they may still decline any communication.
[00:12:35] The family may live in hope that the missing person will return home someday, unexpectedly,
[00:12:40] or as a result of their becoming ill or having some other need to reach out to the family.
[00:12:46] The PI said they are usually spoken about and reflected upon in a very loving and caring manner.
[00:12:53] Although it is heartbreaking for the family involved, knowing that their child or sibling has
[00:12:58] cut all ties and contact with them, they often resign themselves to the situation over time
[00:13:04] and come to a level of some acceptance.
[00:13:07] Next in this series you'll meet Maureen, a woman whose husband walked out the door without explanation.
[00:13:14] She only knew he was alive because his lawyer contacted her, saying he wanted a divorce.
[00:13:20] To this day, she has no idea what happened to him, what his new life is like, or where he is.
[00:13:33] If you enjoy the show, please give us a five-star rating wherever you listen.
[00:13:37] You hear this all the time on another podcast because it helps people find us and become subscribers.
[00:13:43] Your ratings really do make a difference.
[00:13:46] And don't forget to head over to our website, scamsandcons.com,
[00:13:50] where you can chat with other fans and get more stories about scams,
[00:13:54] many of which are going on right now.
[00:13:57] I look forward to hearing what you have to say.
[00:14:00] Thanks for listening.
[00:14:01] Scams & Cons is a member of the Evergreen Podcast Network.
[00:14:08] Three or four hours ago I found out the person I'd be dating and saying for the last six months.
[00:14:14] As a con man, that is my sister Emma. Andrew Tonks' lives had been so convincing,
[00:14:21] she had invested $300,000 with him.
[00:14:24] However, the tables were about to turn on Andrew.
[00:14:26] What he didn't know was that Emma had discovered his real identity,
[00:14:30] but to get any chance of justice, Emma had to act like it was business as usual.
[00:14:36] Coming up in this series and that's when Muda, all this stuff goes through my mind,
[00:14:41] I'm really, really scared.
[00:14:43] I'm assuming Sarah has watched too much Netflix and figures I've been defrauding you
[00:14:47] couldn't be through the former truth.
[00:14:49] That's what this was, a real life story that seems so unbelievable but it was actually true.
[00:14:54] A true story that all starts with one simple swipe to the right.
[00:14:59] I'm Sarah Ferris and I'm Emma Ferris and this is my story Conning the Con.