Scammers do stupid things, too. Let us tell you about them.

[00:00:00] Also, some shows use planted audience members that loudly laugh at everything. Once your ears key in on these people, you can't unhear them. Same laughers week after week, it's quite noticeable. Con artists aren't the brightest people in the world, or they wouldn't be con artists.

[00:00:25] Don't get me wrong, many of them are very good at what they do. So good, they take billions of dollars each year from people around the world. Others land in jail because they pushed a mark a bit too far. Today, we're going to toss away all the serious stuff con artists do and look at the stupid things that happen.

[00:00:53] I'm Jim Grinstead, and today I'm here to make you laugh. Apparently, TV audiences, whether they're in a studio or at home, fall for the simplest of tricks. Laughing. Whether you like it or not, you can blame canned laughter on Charlie Douglas, a CBS radio engineer.

[00:01:22] He hated that the studio audiences on U.S. shows laughed at the wrong moments, didn't laugh at the right moments, or laughed too loudly or for too long. The people couldn't be trained, but he thought he'd try. He'd go to shows with live audiences and record their laughter. It didn't matter whether it matched the jokes. He just wanted the laughs.

[00:01:47] Back at the studio, he mixed all different kinds of tracks. Explosive laughter. Chuckles. Knee slappers. Then he'd sweeten the audio of his shows with the right kind of laughter. It also worked when there wasn't a live audience because the TV audience would believe there was a real audience. So TV land was off to the races, splicing in laughter when the audience wasn't as mused as promoters hoped they would be.

[00:02:17] Actors were aghast. The goal of any creative person is to be authentic to yourself and your sensibilities, whether you're an actor or a dancer, singer, writer. I think that's the quest is to stay honest. They hated the idea that their performances weren't considered funny and that forcing laughter on audiences would insult their intelligence. Well, not so much.

[00:02:43] Market research showed that audiences enjoyed a show more when there was a laugh track. Studio producers loved them, and as the BBC reported, even shows that needed no help getting live laughs needed a version of the laugh track. In the UK, all of the BBC comedies had laugh tracks.

[00:03:07] When the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy first screened in 1981, the producers of the show recorded one version with a laugh track to appease the corporation's standards and practices. Producers dropped that version right before broadcast. Such was the contempt for the laugh track at the time on both sides of the Atlantic. As the creatives began to despise the laugh track, studio execs gave in and these days they're rarely used.

[00:03:37] But that doesn't mean there aren't ways to sweeten the audience. Also, some shows use planted audience members that loudly laugh at everything. Once your ears key in on these people, you can't unhear them. Same laughers week after week. It's quite noticeable. Unfortunately, I'm about to shatter your little conspiracy theory here, but they are almost certainly not plants. So who attends every episode week in and week out? The writers.

[00:04:03] And we are on the stage floor very close to the microphones, and we laugh too. Sometimes we laugh at stuff that the audience doesn't find funny. For example, let's say the actor has been performing a line the same way all week long during rehearsals, and then during show night, they do something a little different to it. They put a little spin on it. That might make us laugh just because that's new and different. Sometimes we laugh just so the audience knows that it's okay that they laugh, you know, because they're at a TV show. Is it okay to make noise? And yet we laugh so that they know it.

[00:04:31] Sometimes we'll laugh at stuff that the audience doesn't find funny simply because we got a bad crowd, and the actors need that laughter. They feed off that energy. And the actors are our friends, and we want them to do well. So we laugh just so they hear something, right? We also have, I didn't mention this before, but we have warm-up comedians, and they keep the audience entertained in between takes because it can take time. And the warm-up comedian will often say, yeah, please laugh as hard as you did on the second take as you did on the first take because the actors need it.

[00:04:58] Now, sometimes when we air the episode, we'll use the laughter from take one, which is generally louder, even if we're using the take, take two, right? Now, is that cheating? I don't think so. It's the same, you know, show. It's the same line that got a laugh. We're just swapping in from a different take. That's Michael Jammin, a highly successful TV writer and showrunner. He's been around the block and has seen the good, the bad, and the ugly.

[00:05:24] He has his own podcast about the industry, and I'll put a link to it in the show notes. Now, despite the hatred of laugh tracks, he says they work. So, people say they don't like laugh tracks, but the proof is they do like the laugh tracks. It's freaking annoying, right? So, next time someone tells you what it's like, you know, why there's laugh tracks, they say, well, because we're all a bunch of idiots. That's why we have laugh tracks. I'm picking on laugh tracks because it's fun and no one gets hurt.

[00:05:51] Audiences know laugh tracks are in use, and if people watching TV are bothered by them, they can just change the channel and no harm has come to them. Now, telemarketers, that's another story. People love to punk telemarketers, like this one, who's having a really bad day. Ma'am! Don't speak! Now, type down there, www.amazon.com Ma'am, ma'am, I'm spelling for you!

[00:06:20] Manicky Lodi, go back! No cost, no catch, no kidding! Go back! Go back! Go back! Go back! Cut this window, go back! Over here, other technicians are laughing to you. I told you go back! I can't go back, there's no back! Cut this window! It doesn't go back! Cut it! It doesn't go back! Cut it! I'm pressing the back button, like it doesn't let me go back!

[00:06:49] Open a new tab! Not the thing that I'm telling, just do that thing only! Again you're doing- You're just telling me to do the same- No, you just- You just type! You keep telling me to troll the- Ma'am, ma'am, don't speak! Don't speak! Just listen to me! I will cry now! I am very fed up with you right now! Wouldn't you just love to call this poor creature and offer to sell him a book of how to win friends and influence people? Eh, maybe we should wait a few hours first.

[00:07:19] Telemarketers are one of the banes of our existence. They time their calls at lunchtime, dinnertime, just before bedtime, and just before you take a magazine into the toilet. Or, at other times. Station B Park! That's just for taking advantage of one of our all-inclusive exotic destination promotions. Now I just need to ask you a few questions just to see if you qualify. Is that okay?

[00:07:48] You know you're talking to an elevator phone. You're told that you still have a current credit or debit card, correct? This is an elevator! I gotta go! Yeah, that's a telemarketer calling an elevator telephone. We're not safe anywhere. And, no one is really safe.

[00:08:17] You're about to hear two guys on the phone with a telemarketer. They've just received a call pitching car maintenance and emergency services. These guys are pretty good size, and they're loving talking to the telemarketer. Oh, and did I mention the call came into a police station? And one of the guys is wearing a medal that reads SWAT. Free towing, too, now! 24-hour emergency. Get out of here!

[00:08:47] You have got to be kidding me. All this is going to be included for the low, low price of what? We're inside now. Our standard options for the power fee would be a $495 activation. Okay. A monthly payment for the IAA. It would be a monthly payment of $270, $10,000. So, $195 down and two... How much a month?

[00:09:16] It'd be $295 down. Get out of town! Hold on, hold on. I gotta talk to my wife real quick about that. Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Yes. I'm his wife. I was wondering if you have this discount from me. You're the worst. Yeah. Sorry. Don't even know that right. That is my wife.

[00:09:44] I'm for getting paid for your call either way. Have a blessing. Oh, but don't do me like that. One of the things I get asked a lot about is artificial intelligence. How can we know if we're talking to a robot or a real person? We'll take a deep dive into artificial fakes in a later episode, but Coach Allen shows us what it might be like.

[00:10:09] I had a full-o conversation, sort of, with an artificial intelligence over the phone, and this was a telemarketer. So, basically, in Ontario, they've got these credit rebate things that nobody really qualifies for, but they want to try and give them to you. Basically, what happens is they call you, and it's an artificial intelligence, and this was my conversation with that artificial intelligence. They call it AI.

[00:10:36] It's got, like, eight set answers, but let's get down, and let's actually listen to this artificial intelligence talk to me. I'm calling from the Ontario rebate program. I'm looking to speak with the homeowner. Is that you? Are you a robot? I use AI systems to be able to help homeowners across Ontario with their efficiency rebate. Like I was saying, am I speaking with the homeowner? What's my postal code? I didn't expect this answer.

[00:11:07] Like I was saying, am I speaking with the homeowner? How much does a robot get paid? I use AI systems to be able to help homeowners across Ontario with their efficiency rebate. Like I was saying, am I speaking with the homeowner? Hello, my name is Bob. Perfect. The reason for the call is that the utility companies across Ontario sent out some information regarding the COVID emergency assistance program.

[00:11:36] So I'm just calling to see if you've received it yet. Have you received the rebate yourself? Okay, no worries. My job is super simple. It's just to make sure all the homeowners in your postal code have received the rebates that are available during COVID-19. I just want to ask a few quick pre-qualifying questions. What is COVID-19? How old is your home? What is COVID-19?

[00:12:00] The call is in regards to setting up an in-home assessment to determine your eligibility for multiple rebates and programs that are available to Ontario homeowners. Like I was saying, how old is your home? You sound like a human, but you're not a human. I use AI systems to be able to help homeowners across Ontario with their efficiency rebate. Like I was saying, how old is your home? 10,000 years old.

[00:12:29] And you are the homeowner, correct? Why would you care? I didn't expect this answer. Like I was saying, you are the homeowner, correct? Are you a homeowner? Lastly, just as a formality, you are between the ages of 18 and 75, correct? I am 695. Sorry, I didn't expect this answer.

[00:12:56] Like I was saying, you are between the ages of 18 to 75, correct? No, I am one years old. I'm sorry, this program isn't applicable to you. Have a great day. I find this a bit creepy. Maybe the AI seems to handle random answers and circles back to the information it needs to gather. It's persistent and polite. It also has an exit strategy.

[00:13:22] Now, if this is happening in 2025, imagine what software writers will come up by 2030 or sooner. How much information are we likely to give them if we believe their stories? And how long will it take us to realize we're talking to a robot? My last example of stupid telemarketing people comes from Comcast. This is a call customer made to cancel the service, so it wasn't an unsolicited call.

[00:13:51] Still, the person on the other end of the line was determined to make a sale. Comcast embarrassed today after a phone call recording involving one of their customer service agents went viral. We'll allow our tech reporter Gabe Slate listen to the entire call that's here to play the highlights, I guess we can call them. Lowlights. Lowlights. Yeah, more like lowlights. Yeah, you know, we've all had a run in with an aggressive customer service agent over the phone, but this rep, he takes it so far. But what you can help me is about disconnecting our service.

[00:14:21] That's how you can help me. How is that helping you though? Because that's what I want. Why do you know how that's helping you? That's what I want. Okay, so why is that what you want? Because that's what I want. This is Ryan Block. When he made this call, he'd already signed on with a new provider. His mind was made up. He just wanted to cancel. Why is it that you're not wanting to have the number one rated internet service, number one rated CD service available? I'm declining to state we're switching providers. Okay, so why not keep what you know worth? Because. Because we're not doing that.

[00:14:48] So please proceed with disconnecting ourselves. You don't want a good service? You don't want something that works? If you can just please cancel our service, that would be great. That's all we want. That is all we want. After 10 minutes of the Comcast service agent refusing to let him cancel, he put his phone on speaker and began to record the call. So everything you are hearing is after the initial 10 minutes of arguing. So why don't you want something that's good service and something that works? I mean, is this like a joke? Are we punking us right now? I'm just trying to figure out here what it is about Comcast service that you're not liking.

[00:15:17] The call was so shocking he uploaded the recording to SoundCloud, an audio clip sharing social site. It went viral. Through the entire call, Ryan, the customer, is consistent. He just wants to cancel his service. The agent just won't do it. So why is it that you don't want the faster speed? Help me understand why you don't want faster internet. Help me understand why you can't just disconnect us. Because my job is to have a conversation with you. Finally, after 18 minutes of asking, the agent agrees to cancel his service.

[00:15:46] You know what? It's disconnected. I'm really tired of seeing you go to something that can't give you what we can. In a statement released online, Comcast apologized to the customer saying they were very sorry, embarrassed, and that is not how they trained their agents to behave. That was from KRON in San Francisco. And Comcast may not train its agents to behave that way. But there's always great pressure on employees of phone and television providers to make sales.

[00:16:11] One person I know who worked for a major telephone carrier had a nervous breakdown because of the pressure she was under. Telemarketing isn't fun for us. But the people on the other end of the line can have a bad time, too. Now we turn to another group of scamming scoundrels. Email marketers. For this section, I'm going to need some help.

[00:16:37] To help us separate one email from another, and for me to comment on them, I'm going to use three AI voices. Voices, please introduce yourselves. I'm Laura, and I'm an AI voice. Hi, I'm Brian, and I'm an AI voice. I'm Tamika, and I am an AI voice. Email is self-explanatory, so you don't need me to set them up. Let's kick back and listen.

[00:17:05] And don't forget bogus emails frequently have spelling and grammar errors. And I'm going to let the AI voices read the emails verbatim. If you hear an error, it was probably written that way. Hi, good day to you. I am Steven, a U.S. soldier currently carrying out my duty in Syria. I have a proposal for you. I and some of my colleagues recovered some huge amount of money here last two weeks during an operation.

[00:17:31] We just shared the money some days ago, and I want to move mine to a safe place that why I'm contacting you through this mail. Because this is the only means of communication I have here. I came across your email when I was searching for a random person online who I can trust with this proposal. I am willing to offer you 40% of the total money, which is 17.8 million U.S. dollars, if you are willing to do the deal with me.

[00:18:00] And I also want you to know that this is very legit. Here is my personal email address. You can reply me here if you are willing to do this deal with me. And I will advise you ahead on how I will send the funds out to you. You are to ignore this mail if you are not interested. I will wait for your response. Best regards. Hi, Maxwell Brooke. Hi, Maxwell. You are dead and inherited money.

[00:18:29] To proceed, please email me back and we can finalize monies to be transferred for your time. It is millions of dollars and you become billionaire like Bull Gates. Your aunt is dying. Attorney of State, Kimberly D.K. Dear friend, my name is John Kelly. I am 59 years old man. I am in a hospital in Dubai. Recently, my doctor told me that I would not last for the next six months due to my cancer problem, cancer of the lever.

[00:18:58] I am giving my money away because of my health condition and the fact that my second wife is a terrifying woman to deal with. Marrying her was the only mistake I made in my life. She is currently managing my company here. But I know what she is capable of. She has sold her soul to the devil and I do not want her to come near my money. Regards, John Kelly.

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[00:21:11] Note, some email providers incorrectly place official Illuminati messages in their spam or junk folder or promotion folder. This can divert and exclude our responses to your emails. The Illuminati Well, that's it for this time, boys and girls. Thanks for joining us, and next week we'll get back to the serious business of outing con artists and scammers.

[00:21:49] If you enjoy the podcast and want to support it, please tell your friends and encourage them to listen. If you want to show us some more love, consider donating a few dollars a month via Patreon. It not only helps with expenses. It allows us to take the podcast to the next level, all without advertising. You can sign up by going to patreon.com and search for scams and cons.

[00:22:14] That's p-a-t-r-e-o-n dot com, and you can find a link to it in the show notes. Thanks for listening. If you want to watch more of my videos for free, thanks for sharing music with my videos.